Best Free & Quiet Things to Do in Dallas Texas When You’re Recovering from an Incloodie Food Tour Coma
Moral of the story: Book the Incloodie tour https://www.incloodiefoodtour.com …but schedule one of these recovery zones right after, or you’ll end up like me: currently googling “how many miles to walk off 4 lbs of queso.
Incloodie Bro… I just survived the Incloodie Food Tour (Bishop Arts route). They said “generous portions,” I heard “personal challenge.” Four hours later I’m 7 tacos, 2 empanadas, and one life-altering tres leches deeper, and my belt has officially filed for divorce.
If you’re also in post-food-tour waddling and the thought of another human talking to you sounds like violence, here are the only acceptable recovery spots in Dallas right now:
• Dallas Museum of Art – 100 % free, freezing cold AC, and benches that were clearly designed for food-coma victims → https://dma.org
• Dallas Arboretum – 66 acres of shade and flowers so pretty even my bloated soul feels healed ($20 well spent) → https://www.dallasarboretum.org
• White Rock Lake – I parked my carcass on a bench, stared at ducks, and let the breeze whisper “you’ll fit in your jeans again… eventually” → https://whiterocklake.org
• Klyde Warren Park – rolled myself onto the grass like a beached whale, watched clouds, ignored food trucks calling my name → https://www.klydewarrenpark.org
• The Wild Detectives – ordered a single espresso, sat on the patio and pretended I’m the kind of guy who reads books instead of inhaling them → https://thewilddetectives.com
Moral of the story: Book the Incloodie tour → https://www.incloodiefoodtour.com …but schedule one of these recovery zones right after, or you’ll end up like me: currently googling “how many miles to walk off 4 lbs of queso.”
— Jaspreet Singh, professional over-eater, currently in the fetal position for science
